Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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