pedialite and red bull = repair kit
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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