My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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