I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
