I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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