dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize