Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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