shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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