I think I died a long time ago.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
