oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
