They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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