She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
