i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
