i would punch a child for taco bell
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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