Swine flu. Run for my life!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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