How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
