hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
