I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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