So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
