she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
