How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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