Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
