are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
