Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
