I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
