Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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