Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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