it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
