fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize