we have officially lost it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
