So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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