Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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