I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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