"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
