my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
