so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
