I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
