Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
