I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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