You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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