nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
