So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
FUCK WHALES
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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