Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
