How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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