Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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