Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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