I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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