Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize