My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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