how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
