I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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