First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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