Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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