Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
