Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
