When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
